Dear Avie, The light helps me see. No more darkened days ahead of me. I want to fall onto the light’s ways. Illuminate my path. No more darkened days at sea. I am willing and able to change. Wishing you were here with me. The deep blue sparkles in your eyes. Waves fade out into the distance. Drifting back to safer shores. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, I wake up wondering if death is coming for me now. I feel as though I may die because of all the pain. Life seems so dark and cruel. Is my time coming? I am trying to look deeper, setting my sight onto the brighter side of things. Life is beautiful when the light is just right. I have to be gracious for my life. Appreciate things more while I am still alive.…

Dear Avie, Polly called me today and asked if I wanted to come over. She lives next door, but you already know that. You know Polly and you know exactly where she lives. You would always shout from the front door, “Powy, Powy”. Even when she wasn’t outside you would call out to her in hopes that she would be out there. I went over to her house only a skip and a hop away.…

Dear Avie, Mommy went to Camp Li Wa today. You used to go horseback riding up there. Tuesdays were the best days. Tuesdays were for riding horses. Do you remember Kiyah? I know you do; she’s up in heaven now with you. The two of you are riding among the clouds. I visited with many of your old friends at camp. New people are there too. The one thing that is missing is you. Even…

Dear Avie, I feel like I might be out of my mind. I shouldn’t be ashamed to say it. I’m trying to find myself again. Maybe this is who I’m supposed to be. I hope the fear will lose it’s power over me. I have to keep going. Wishing you were here with me. I want to feel you like I did before you were taken away from me. I want to be able to…

Dear Avie, Does the fear ever really go away? Will fear in time lose power over me, or will it stay? Riding the wave that never ends. I don’t know how much longer I can ride it. Blessed with a little bit of sadness and pain. I would do anything to hear you call my name. Please come take me away from all the fear and pain. Xoxo- Mommy