Dear Me, This is a scary thing for you, I know. You want answers now but the answers are revealing too slow. You see the signs everywhere. Still you aren’t sure. Not many people could go through what you have gone through, and still be able to live. I feel so alone. Caught up in the despair. You gave life but that life was stolen away from you. You feel exposed. Torn from the inside…

Dear Me, You love her more than you love yourself. True love. Taking over your soul. Changing you. The love you have for yourself grew. Being a Mother made your soul grow into something amazing. You took care of your sweet baby girl. She had medically complex issues. There were years of constant worrying. The powerful dreadful thoughts. Filling up your mind. The what ifs? Will she ever walk? Talk? Will she be able to…

Dear Me, After all that you have gone through I am not sure how you are still living. You are stronger than I thought you were. You have Avelynn’s strength and determination. It’s really starting to shine through. I knew you had it this whole time. I told you that I believe in you. I know you have been struggling. You have been trying to find yourself again. Uncovering the real you. Always putting your…

Dear Avie, My love for you gives me the strength to keep swimming. The oceans waves guide the way. The sun’s rays fuel me. The water washes away my pain. There’s nothing the ocean can’t do. A million miles won’t keep me from finding you. Nothing will take me away from you. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, I am so thirsty. I go to take a drink only to find that my glass is halfway empty. It used to be halfway full. The void grows bigger. Dehydrating me. Taking away my lifeline. Struggling to breathe. This is killing me. I miss you so much, my sweet. You make me complete. I wish you were here with me. You made everything better. Save me from this disease. I need to get…

Dear Avie, The pain keeps jabbing me. Stabbing at my half beating heart. Set me free from the pain. Death brings sadness. Grief. Misery. Death has changed me. My love has left me. Struggling to breathe. I’ve lost pieces of myself. My heart. My soul. The better parts of me. Hoping that someday you will come back to me. I have to keep trying. Is there room left for me in this lifetime? I don’t…