Dear Avie, The grief is coming out. Exposing itself. I’ve been pushing it away. It’s time to set it free. Let it go. A little at a time. Writing soothes my mind. Begging. Pleading. Cure me. Please. Come back to me. Death. Grief does this to me. It’s trying to take you away from me. Stepping into the light. Can you hear me? I can finally see. Wishing I could go back to the beginning.…

Dear Avie, I’m sitting outside. Writing to you. Here I’ll stay as long as the weather permits. Clouds are rolling in. That’s ok. Clouds don’t always come with rain. The scorching sun could end up drying this place out. Too much rain could drown it all out. I just need enough rain to sustain. I don’t need too much of one good thing. Learning to appreciate what this life has to offer. Appreciating a little…

Dear Avie, Your little hands. Reaching slowly. Softly touching the flowers. You were always gentle with delicate things. Trying to picture you here. All of this is taking me somewhere. So fast. What does it all mean? Fast forwarding. Death has done this to me. Confusion. Wondering. Zombie like through life. No directions to follow. Only hunger. Pain. Misery. Hoping my words will make it to you. They will see me through. It brings…

Dear Avie, The yard is quiet. Empty but full of things. Your playset. Your swing no longer swings. The slide makes no sound. The wind chime floats away in the background. The trees make their own sound. Swaying around. The fresh breeze blows through. I can feel it on my face. Touching my lips. So soft. Like an Angels kiss. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Me, Don’t forget about the fire. Deep inside your belly. It will always be with you. Sitting. Waiting. You’ll have to eventually let it out. It was given to you for a reason. There’s a reason behind everything. Heal the world while you heal yourself. Avie is in a better place now. Xoxo- Me

Dear Avie, I know you will help me. Release me from my misery. My sweet. Return life to me. The grief. Give me strength. Dire need. Turning to you. Deliver me. Set the world free. Xoxo- Mommy