Dear Avie,
I lost you a year ago today.
I remember sitting beside you in the hospital bed during the last few days of your precious life.
I have never cried so much.
I was drained of my own life that day.
My soul shriveled up.
I wish it was all a dream.
I wish you were here with me.
I am starting to run out of pictures of you.
I have even lost you from my dreams.
Eyes wide open.
Show me a sign.
Show me something.
I need you.
Make me the strongest sword out of steel.
I can’t wait any longer.
I need to take action.
I will slice away the misery.
Chop up all of life’s evil ways.
Cut open death.
Take away all the pain.
No more misery.
No more mourning.
Sever away the fear.
Nothing in this world can satisfy me.
The satisfaction that I desire can only come from you.
I want to become more like you.
Transforming.
My thoughts of the world will determine how I act.
Help me see the world differently.
Let me see the world through your eyes.
Open up life’s gates.
Allow me to come in.
Making my life complete.
Set me free.
Let me shed my skin.
One last chance to live again.
Xoxo- Mommy
