Dear Avie, Your little hands. Reaching slowly. Softly touching the flowers. You were always gentle with delicate things. Trying to picture you here. All of this is taking me somewhere. So fast. What does it all mean? Fast forwarding. Death has done this to me. Confusion. Wondering. Zombie like through life. No directions to follow. Only hunger. Pain. Misery. Hoping my words will make it to you. They will see me through. It brings…
Dear Avie, The yard is quiet. Empty but full of things. Your playset. Your swing no longer swings. The slide makes no sound. The wind chime floats away in the background. The trees make their own sound. Swaying around. The fresh breeze blows through. I can feel it on my face. Touching my lips. So soft. Like an Angels kiss. Xoxo- Mommy
Dear Me, Don’t forget about the fire. Deep inside your belly. It will always be with you. Sitting. Waiting. You’ll have to eventually let it out. It was given to you for a reason. There’s a reason behind everything. Heal the world while you heal yourself. Avie is in a better place now. Xoxo- Me
Dear Avie, I know you will help me. Release me from my misery. My sweet. Return life to me. The grief. Give me strength. Dire need. Turning to you. Deliver me. Set the world free. Xoxo- Mommy
Dear Avie, I miss the comfort of your skin. Soft to the touch. Chubby cheeks. Pressed up against mine. The warmth of your baby skin. Divine. Sitting next to you. You help me see. A new side of me. The veil forever lifted. No longer covering me eyes. I can finally see. Looking up into the sky. So high. That’s where you fly. Drifting away. Among the clouds. Saving me. Xoxo- Mommy
Dear Avie, I’ve been looking through photographs of you Thanking my camera. What a glorious machine. Allowing me to capture the most precious and sweet memories. If I didn’t have photographs I wouldn’t have anything. My sugar sweet. Starring at a photograph from across the room. Alone in our empty bed. Wishing for sweet dreams. Xoxo- Mommy
Dear Me, You are who you want to be. Changed mentality. No one can take that away from you. It’s all up to you. You became anew. Meant to be. It changed you. Strengthened your faith. Now you believe. The veil once covered your eyes. Lifted. Behold. You can finally see. You can do anything that you want to do. You’ve always been free. Life is about living. So live for me. Xoxo- Me
Dear Avie, My eyes are looking up. No longer looking down. You’re somewhere among the clouds. Flying around. High above me. The light shines brightly. There’s strength behind my green eyes. Beauty. Love. Life. Look closely. You’ll see. A new side of me. The person that I was meant to be. Xoxo- Mommy
Dear Avie, I’m not afraid to say your name. I’ll say it out loud. Relieving me of my pain. Standing at your door hoping that you’ll answer. The golden air of your love fills up my lungs. Breathing in. Your love. Forever tasting it. Xoxo- Mommy
Dear Avie, When the soil becomes dry you bring on the rain. I can hear you calling back to me while I call out your name. Frozen in time. Here comes the sunshine. Thawing me out from the cold winter. The darkness slowly moves away. Sunshine takes over. Some clouds are ok; I need a little bit of shade. Summer is settling in. I lost you to the October wind. Xoxo- Mommy