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To Live

Dear Me, You still want to live. Life. You still exist. Boy oh boy you’ve been through some shit. Many people ask “How are you still living?” When you lose someone you love you don’t just die. Even though dying seems like an easier thing than living. You have a choice. If you killed yourself you wouldn’t make it up to heaven. You need to make it to heaven in order to see your baby…

The Choice

Dear Me, It’s up to you. You have the choice. To live. To love. Be you. What a beautiful thing. You can’t blame anyone one else but yourself. You have the freedom. Take back your life. Live. Love. Spread your wings. The sun is coming up. Don’t be afraid. Take my hand. I will help you along the way. Xoxo- Me

Make New Dreams

Dear Me, You can’t see the horizon. The sun disappeared. You need to pull yourself back up. Back up from the deep. Torn apart. Broken. If only you could return to the start. Back to before your whole life fell apart. Starting over. Confused. Find out what’s been chasing after you. Make new dreams come true. Xoxo- Me

Delivering Me

Dear God, There’s too much weight. I’ve been carrying it on my back. Please help me. Don’t let it crush me. Grief wants to take over me. Signs of death are everywhere. Surrounding me. I know you will help me. You will help pull me back up from where the ground wants me. You won’t let it claim me. Freeing me free from all of the pain. Granting me my release. Delivering me. Xoxo- Me

An Exponential Speed

Dear Me, Time is flying by. Fast forwarding at an exponential speed. So fast. Coming. Going. You can’t stop it. Time. There’s no getting it back. It doesn’t heal the pain. It’s up to you. Take your life back. Don’t let time take it all away. Xoxo- Me

When Opportunity Knocks

Dear Me, Pain tore me up. From the inside out. Breaking me. Why did this happen? Why me? Who would I be if these things didn’t happened to me? Things happen for a reason. I have to keep living. Shutting the door. Kicking out the bad energy. It’s trying to consume me. I will answer the door when opportunity knocks. I will not let death take over me. Xoxo- Me

Drop The Chains

Dear Me, You’ve been forced into a different kind of life. You’re scared. Stuck. How do you continue living? I would just die. There’s not enough time. The pain. The scars. I know you feel it. Every single day. The past remains. Free yourself. Purge the pain. Let the weight fall down. Drop the chains. Xoxo- Me

A Real Goodbye

Dear Me, You are starving. Dying to hold her. One last time. You want a second chance. A real goodbye. You held her as she faded away. Death took her. The darkness. Consumes. Controls you. Don’t stare at the darkness for too long. The darkness will soon notice you. The sickness wants to take over you. Deaths staring back at you. Don’t shy away. Refrain from covering up your face. Face the things that haunt…

Resting Within

Dear Avie, Death consumes me. It follows me. Revealing itself to me in my sleep. Resting within my dreams. Nothing can shield me. Swallowing me whole. I have no control. I’ve seen things. Things that no one should have to see. I felt your heart beat for the last time. You were taken from me. Xoxo- Mommy

Following Me

Dear Avie, There wasn’t enough time. When all I felt was pain I lost my sight. The memories. I’m tired of living in an empty space. Help me. I struggle to be free. I know you aren’t coming back to me. I need to continue living. Give me something to believe in. Death keeps following me. I wish I could take a break from death completely. I can’t unsee the things I’ve seen. Xoxo- Mommy