Dear Avie, You have been on my mind. I can’t talk when I am all choked up. I will write to you instead. Writing has become a voice for my head. From my heart. Into the sea. The deep sea of my life. Everything I have means nothing to me. I need you by my side. You are the only one who can cure me. Confessing through my lips. Using these words. Tears dripping down…

Dear Avie, The birds are chirping outside my window. I stepped out to listen to their tune. The wind is blowing. I try and shy away from the wind. I can’t hide from the bitter chill of the cold. I need to face it. I need to stay strong. Will I find warmth after the wind is gone? I am able to see through your eyes. I want to be curious. Childlike. I have the…

Dear Avie, I went to Church. What a loving place. Filled with warmth. Everyone there would save us all. The words of wisdom are written all over the walls. Your presence is all around. Put your hand on me. Show me the way. Guide me. I am in need of your strength. I need your saving grace. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, Without you here I am falling apart. I need you. I am kneeling in supplication. I am going through a transfiguration. The rocks underneath the snow are beginning to show. They too are rising up from somewhere down below. I am always searching for you my angel. I wish I could wake with you by my side. I want to wake up to a golden sky. A lioness yearning for her cub. Life…

Dear Avie, I will go through the sea. Making my way back to you. My soul won’t ever be free of you. Tears from my eyes are swallowed up by my pillow at night. When you died a part of me went with you. The troubles of my heart have multiplied. How will I be able to survive? My words tell a story of sorrow. I ache to hear you call out my name. The…

Dear Avie, What is it like up there in the sky? Can you see me from where you are? I can’t sleep so I will write to you instead. I hope you can hear my words. I write to you daily. My daily devotional to you my sweet. Our love story will never be complete. We were just starting, you see? You are no longer here with me. What I am I supposed to do?…

Dear Avie, I want to go out and drive. Drive out into the moonlight. I want to be where the oceans waves sparkle. Sparkling bright as they roll on by. Waves pull the seashells in and they push them back out. The swaying of the oceans tide. It nourishes the sea. Somewhere beyond the sea you are out there waiting for me. Where will I go from here? I feel as though I am dying…

Dear Avie, I find myself wondering how much time I have left. I often wonder when my day will come. Will I see you again someday? I am not sure if I will make it up to where you are. I am not sure of anything anymore. Mommy needs comfort to surround me. I can’t take any more pain. I am in need of a place where the pain will be washed away. Gone forever.…

Dear Avie, I had the best thing in the world. I had you. I am not sure if anything else in this world will make me feel better. The truth hurts. Knife twisting. Deeper and deeper. The strings of pain. My exhilarated heart rate. Should I fight or fly? I will fight and then fly away from here. Fly away and go to you. Isn’t it my time? When will it be? I hope I…

Dear Avie, I can’t wait until the day that we get to go out and play. We used to play outside all the time. Together in the dirt. Bubba always tried to steal your watermelon away. Most of the time you would feed it to him anyways. The umbrella would be up so that the sun wouldn’t be in your face. The music blaring from inside the house. Melodies flowing through the window pane. While…