Dear Avie, I lost you to the October wind. You were swept away from underneath me. Torn from my skin. Today you would be turning 3. Happy birthday my sweet. May 7th is a date that I will never forget. We had a birthday party just for you. There were cupcakes and purple balloons. A bubble machine too. I know how much you love bubbles. We wrote little messages on the purple balloons. Releasing them…

Dear Avie, I am swimming through the ocean. Searching for you. Trying to make my way up to you. My head is just above the water. Give me strength. Help me. I want to make it through. I will swim until the ocean is no longer blue. Dying of a broken heart. A disease has taken over me. My broken heart affliction. Come back to me. Save me. Make me whole again. Set my heart…

Dear Avie, I write so that I can remember. The memories. My grief. The tragedy. Written down for all to see. Wishing you were here with me. I am stuck here waiting for you to take me up, up, and away. Begging. Pleading. Come back and save me. You will guide the way. Bringing a new day. A new start. You will help mend my broken heart. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, Help drive away my tears of pain. My body aches. It shakes. Making it hard for me to write. My days are spent without you. No sleep for me tonight. A lost ship stuck out at sea. The fog keeps me from seeing clearly. Searching the ocean for your light. The fog horn echoes in the distance. I know you are close. Drawing near. My love for you is quickly ascending to the…

Dear Avie, Everything I eat and drink is full of you. No more hunger pains. I have to keep going until the road ends and the pavement breaks. The dirt road will eventually find me. A fork in the road appears in front of me. I have a choice. It is up to me. How do I decide which road to take? I know you will help me. Show me a sign. Please show me…

Dear Avie, The mystery of it all continues to grow. I am afraid that all of my questions will go unanswered. I might have been skipped. Maybe I am not worthy of it. My heart wants to harden. The frozen stillness of it all. I have to be careful. I might slip on the ice. I don’t want to fall. The suns is starting to shine. The warm rays are attempting to thaw me out.…

Dear Avie, Death is like a breath of fire. It consumes you. Will I be able to live with these everlasting flames? Draw me into your safe harbor. Take me in from the storm. Shelter me from the rain. The heavens tell your story. The Angels proclaim. Clawing my way out of the depths. Pulling myself back up. Crying out your name. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, Light the way. Set fire to the flame. Burning. Illuminate the path. My eyes are locked forward. Searching only for you. I know you can hear me. I don’t know if I will be able to survive without you. This is killing me. I have a will. I will make my way. When you return to my arms I will be saved. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, I am left searching for something to fill up my day. Always consuming. Satisfaction is not guaranteed. You are the only one who satisfies me. My life is empty. Incomplete. Filled with regret. I am lonely. Deprived of you. I wish you could come back to me. My body yearns for you. Save me. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, We all have a weakness. Mine is easy to interpret. Love can heal what the darkness tries to divide. I need to dig myself out from beneath the dirt. It is covering me. Suffocating me. I don’t want to die. Will the pain ever cease to exist? I am turning to you. Your light illuminates the way. Your hands will guide me. In the end I will still have you. The only way…