Dear Avie, It is you that I have come to see. I need to leave reality. Show me the way from up above. Rid my life of the things that distract me. There is only one way in. One way out. I have a feeling. I just know. Searching. Pulling back on the reins. Turning back. I am all alone. Swallowing all of the pain whole. Figuring out how to live. Over and over again.…

Dear Avie, The rhythm of my heart is weak. My body is still in shock. My nerves are jumpy. I have no control over me. Struggling. Day by day. Just breathe. I tell myself. Keep breathing. I have to stay alive. I have to wake. I want to survive. Visualizing butterflies. Floating around my face. Ever so gently. Filled with so much peace. Happiness. For a minute I can breathe. This calms me. Meditating. Breathing.…

Dear Avie, Death came to our home. Too close for comfort. Forcing its way through our front door. Knocking us out. Taking us down. Taking over our home. Stealing away the life that we used to own. I have seen too much. My eyes have seen the ugly side of things. Forced to look beyond the veil. The scariest side of life revealed. I have seen too much death. Not enough life. This house used…

Dear Avie, I am stuck here drowning in my own tears. Where will my life go from here? Filling up my room with the water that spills from my eyes. The uncertainty. Flooding. Will it ever become clear? Is there life left behind these eyes of mine? Or does only death reside? I am not sure anymore. In fact, I am not sure of anything anymore. I am stuck living in a different kind of…

Dear Avie, I am sitting outside by our fire pit. Watching the fire as it burns through the wood. Devouring the stack. While I sit by the warmth of the fire it stirs up a burning desire. Within my soul. Taking over my body. Taking total control. My desire. Burning brighter with each passing day. If only I could have one last time. The flames took it all away. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, I am reminded daily of who I used to be. Remembering all that I used to have. Come back down here. Be with me. Save me. Will I make it up to the heavens above? When I make it, I will be there forever with you. I want to dance and sing above the clouds with you. You and I will see the world from a different view. We will look over our…

Dear Avie, I will not forget about you. Please do not forget about me. My heart beats for you. Everyday. Beating. Bleeding. Beating until I am no longer breathing. Barely breathing until I am taken away from all of this pain. When I go I will be set free. Living in hell. Full of misery. The mystery. Can’t you see? Stuck down here mending my shattered wings. Trying to get back my lost dreams. Waiting…

Dear Avie, I mourn for the life that I used to have. The death of the life that I once knew. I am stuck down here. Waiting for you. I have to continue living without you. It is dull. Too dark. So cold down here. You are the one who made me happy. Now I am crippled with grief. You made me complete. Will I ever find happiness again my sweet? I need you. Pleading.…

Dear Avie, I woke up with empty arms and a broken heart. I can’t seem to shake off this funk that I am in. I need to release the pain that has been locked up inside of me for days. I am finding it hard to breathe. Grief takes over me. Wishing you could come back to me. We would dance and sing. You would tell me that you love me. Your arms would be…

Dear Avie, I am sitting outside writing to you. The sun is shining anew. The rays feel warm on my delicate skin. My hair slightly wisps in the wind. I wish you could be here next to me. I want to hold you. I need you to hold me. My heart is bleeding. If only I could have you. I would change it all. You and I are meant to be. Please don’t forget about…