Dear Avie, I want life to feel brand new. Like the first time that I met you. When things were simple and true. I need to quench my thirst. Please fill up my cup that I drink of you. The thirst is trying to bury me. Deep. You are the one who can fill me. My parched lips need tending to. My body feels weak. Save me. Deliver the water that I need. Quenching my…

Dear Avie, Many things have been thrown onto the table since you’ve been gone. Piled high in an unorganized mess. I’m left sifting through it all. Trying to reorganizing my life. What’s my purpose? What do I do next? Stuck in one place watching the ticking of the clock. Wondering, when will it be my time? I don’t want to live that way. There are bigger plans for me. I can feel it. I can…

Dear Me, It’s time to take your own advice. Start living in the now. Let go of the past. Don’t try to predict the future. Be present. You have to find yourself again somehow. Open your heart back up. Love again. Keep writing. Do not let anything get in your way. The stories you will tell. The journey of a real heart break. A soul tearing story. Love and life are not far gone. I…

Dear God, I am on my knees praying. Begging. Weeping. Can you hear me? I don’t want to lose faith. I need to keep believing. It’s so hard to keep faith when everyone around me is falling from grace. God, will you please come down here and save me? Cure me of the disease that’s taking me away from you. I don’t want the door to close. There’s a crack exposing a little bit of…

Dear Me, This feels like some kind of messed up game. A game that you can’t start over. Everything is out of your control. Your heart weighs heavy. It has fallen to the ground. Numb to almost everything. Pick back up the pieces of yourself. Set yourself free from the pain. Pins and needles stinging your limbs as your body wakes up. No longer will you hide from the truth. Xoxo- Me

Dear Me, Your path is changing. You have grown. Changing directions. How will you decide what path is right path for you? Will you continue in this direction, or will things get turned around? Your life is already upside down. There is no right or wrong way around it now. I will help you figure it out. You are sitting outside listening to the wind blow. The birds are chirping and flying around. They live…

Dear Me, This is a scary thing for you, I know. You want answers now but the answers are revealing too slow. You see the signs everywhere. Still you aren’t sure. Not many people could go through what you have gone through, and still be able to live. I feel so alone. Caught up in the despair. You gave life but that life was stolen away from you. You feel exposed. Torn from the inside…

Dear Me, You love her more than you love yourself. True love. Taking over your soul. Changing you. The love you have for yourself grew. Being a Mother made your soul grow into something amazing. You took care of your sweet baby girl. She had medically complex issues. There were years of constant worrying. The powerful dreadful thoughts. Filling up your mind. The what ifs? Will she ever walk? Talk? Will she be able to…

Dear Me, After all that you have gone through I am not sure how you are still living. You are stronger than I thought you were. You have Avelynn’s strength and determination. It’s really starting to shine through. I knew you had it this whole time. I told you that I believe in you. I know you have been struggling. You have been trying to find yourself again. Uncovering the real you. Always putting your…

Dear Avie, My love for you gives me the strength to keep swimming. The oceans waves guide the way. The sun’s rays fuel me. The water washes away my pain. There’s nothing the ocean can’t do. A million miles won’t keep me from finding you. Nothing will take me away from you. Xoxo- Mommy