Dear Avie, Hawaii was an amazing time for reflection. It was a place where I could relax and really think, but at the same time it was also a place to not think in a way. There was not one minute that I wasn’t thinking about you. I sat and I listened to the ocean. The wind blowing through my hair. My breath now full of the oceans salt. The birds are singing melodies in my ear. The small…
Beach Sand Water
Dear Avie, I woke up early this morning to come and sit outside, to take in the beautiful salty air for just one last time. Its soo beautiful here. The waves are crashing onto the shoreline. Boats riding across the oceans waves. You can hear the birds chirping, they are even happy to be here. I am a little sad to be leaving this place, but at the same time I’m ready to go back…
Yearning for You
Dear Avie, My heart yearns for you every day. We are still in paradise enjoying the sun along with its salty air. My mind and my body have started to heal a little. I’m afraid that once we return to the dark cold winter in Alaska my body will begin to revert back to its original state. I know that you won’t let that happen to me. I can feel you next to me, and…
Horse Play
Dear Avie, We took a drive today and as we drove we came upon some horses. We stopped so that I could snap a few pictures. There was a few horses but among the few there was a foal. A beautiful baby foal. She trotted over to her mommy with such grace and happiness. The foal then began to suckle from its mother. The beauty of life and the life that has been given. I…
Into The Ocean
Dear Avie, I’ve been trying hard to put this pen to paper every day for you. I’m sitting outside enjoying todays views. The ocean breaking its waves in the background. Oh how I wish that you could be here now. The trees are swishing in the wind. Your beautiful long hair would be in your face, your skin would have a tint of golden brown, your eyes as blue as the ocean tide. I would…
Puzzle Piece
Dear Avie, The days are passing quickly in front of me. I’m slowly making my way through each day, but time is flying past me as I am trying to keep up. In my head I keep replaying each memory of you. I don’t want to lose any of these memories of you. Sometimes my mind trails off to the days that we had spent in the hospital beside your bed. The pain keeps coming…
Missing You
Dear Avie, You have been taken from my arms reach. Time for once in my life doesn’t seem to exist. I can barely remember what day it is. The hours pass by even faster now without you here. A piece of me is missing. Why is it when tragedy strikes do we begin to really open our eyes? I hope that my eyes continue to see. Only wishing that I could hold you now. Your…
Your Name in the Sand
Dear Avie, We went to the beach today. I wrote your name in the sand. Even though you’re not here with us I can still feel you all around me. My thoughts of you have turned into daydreams, dreaming of the day that I will see you again. Your soft skin and those chunky cheeks pressing up against mine. Time really does keep going even when it feels as though it has come to a…
Sandy Toes
Dear Avie, We went to the beach today, the warm breeze on my face and the salty water on my skin. I am sitting here thinking about you while my toes are in the sand. I wish you were here. Your daddy just came up to me and told me to tell you that he loves you. He’s the best daddy ever. I took a little walk on the beach, and as I looked down…
Prologue
Everyday has become a struggle, a struggle to keep my head just above the water. Waiting in fear of drowning any minute. Experiencing death is like drowning, you’re pulled under thrashing and kicking trying to reach the surface again for that one last breathe. Death is unpredictable it lies and waits attacking when you least expect it, as if it were a shark waiting for its prey. Wishing that I could have taken my chances…