Dear Avie, Today I took out some of your artwork. You’ve painted so many beautiful paintings. You would wake up in the morning and ask me if you could paint. I just knew that you were going to grow up to be an amazing artist. You could do anything that you set your little heart on. You have the drive to be anything that you want to be. I had always thought that you were…

Dear Avie, I love you with all of my heart and soul, is that why this hurts so much? You’re a part of me. Help me to continue to be the best that I can be. Without you here with me, I’m just not sure who I’m supposed to be. I’m your Mommy, but without your hand in mine how will I survive? Please continue to be by my side. I had thought that…

Dear Avie, Today like every day, has flown right past me. I’m leaving for Florida tomorrow afternoon. I finished packing, or so I think. You’ve been to many places, my sweet. We travelled to and from Seattle annually throughout your whole life. You’ve also been to Anchorage, Colorado, Oregon and DC. One day we will all be up in the sky, and you will then be with me. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, I miss you, my sweet Avelynn. Your name rolls off the tip of my tongue. Your name will forever be engraved on my heart. Lynn is Mommy’s middle name, it’s also a part of your name now. Your name is beautiful just like you are. Mommy loves you  Miss Avelynn Mae. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, There were so many things that I still needed to teach you. It all seems so far out of reach. Can’t we all just go to the beach? In the ocean now, as we try to wash away the pain. Trying to hold my head above the water. The sand is disarranged beneath our feet. These waves are pushing me in; further and further into the deep. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, Today I got the chance to be able to hold two precious babies in my arms. Holding them only made me yearn for you even more. I just held them tightly, soaking it all in. For a few moments, I had pretended that it was you that I was holding. I miss you. I wish that I could have you back. Life will never be as it once was. Won’t you just come…

Dear Avie, Mommy’s leaving in a few days, I’m taking a trip to Florida. I’m going to take you back to the beach. Back to the ocean and it’s salty sand. We will be able to walk hand in hand. Out of the snow and into the sand. You and I will be together again. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, These memories of you, I don’t want them to ever fade. I think about you all of the time. You’re my guardian angel. You’re my  whole life. My sweet baby, won’t you just come back into my arms? My breasts feel like they no longer have a use anymore. My arms they quiver from the lack of you. My soul continues to search for you. I’m not sure who I am without you…

Dear Avie, I walked into your room and as I laid your doll down onto your bed, your little sailor hat caught my eye. It’s there sitting on your shelf beside the door. Your hat reminded me of when we were in Colorado visiting my birth mom, your grandma. You were coming up onto your first birthday, when we decided to take a trip to Colorado to go see one of your three grandmas; Yes,…

Dear Avie, You will always be my baby. I used to say that I never wanted you to grow up. I wanted you to stay a baby forever. Now I wish that I didn’t say that. If only I could take it back. Now you’ll be a baby forever, or will you grow older in heaven? I won’t know until I see you again. I’m stuck here going through the motions, just barely making it…