Dear Avie, I can’t get any relief. No one can compare to you my sweet. When I open my eyes the darkness stays the same, and it doesn’t fade away. The reality sets in. Is this the beginning of the end? Heaven was a place on earth with you. When you left, a piece of me died. I will love you until the end of time. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, I’m sitting outside daydreaming of you. Searching inside my soul for you. My Love for you is strong. My heart aches for you. The sun is shining on my face. A cold breeze is blowing my hair sideways. The sand sparkles like the snow. The palm trees whisper in the wind as it blows. Nature seems to have a way with connecting you and I even more. I close my eyes to see…

Dear Avie, There will be no more pictures of you. No more birthdays to come. Our mornings together are no longer. No more mornings where we would cuddle on the couch while eating breakfast. All of those moments are gone, but they will forever be in my mind. Now with this pen and paper I will try to define. Sharing this documentation of your life. Forever you will continue to hold me up. Building me…

Dear Avie, Please won’t you come visit me in my sleep? Lately my dreams have no story. Maybe I don’t dream of you because I can’t sleep. I close my eyes and I’ll think of you, my sweet. I’ll gasp for air, hoping to breathe you back in. Your scent is disappearing from the room; disappearing from my nose. I even dug up some of your old dirty clothes, in hopes that I could smell…

Dear Avie, I miss you. I miss you more and more with each passing day. Continuing to search through my memory bank daily, I’m still searching for you. I hope to never lose you.  Even though I’ve lost you from my arms for forever, I can’t lose you from my mind. I ache for you. I sometimes feel like I might die. To die of a broken heart, and a broken soul, never being able…

Dear Avie, Mommy needs help to recover from this pain and suffering. Sometimes it hurts so badly. My heart gets heavy and I can barely breathe. My love for you takes over my soul. I would do anything for you. I would give anything just to be able to have you again. I sit here and I pray for you every day. I pray for me. I love you more than you’ll ever know. My…

Dear Avie, I wish that I could feel you again. I wish that I could smell your soft skin. I made pancakes for you today. I even put some on your Minnie Mouse plate for you. Your coffee cup is filled and ready for you. I ate breakfast at your table this morning, just like we used to do. My mornings aren’t the same without you. The pancakes lacked one important ingredient, you. Is it…

  Dear Avie, Since you have left, I barely sleep at all. I just recently started sleeping with my old stuffed animal Miss Kitty. I snuggle her close in between my arms. It gives me a sort of comfort. Sometimes I pretend that it’s you I’m holding. We used to snuggle all the time, just you and I. You would be wrapped up in me. While snuggling in deeply, you would wrap your arms around…

Dear Avie, Daddy helped pull you out into this world. He handed you to me. I held you on my chest for just a moment, you struggled to breathe. When you came out of Mommy you weren’t breathing. Your body was a purplish blue. I was so scared. I cried out loud. They took you from my chest and laid you on the bed beside the tub. Your Daddy was there by your side. The…

Dear Avie, I sat in the bath tub last night. I even added bubbles to my bath. As I sat there swishing around in the water, I thought of you. Our days used to be filled with bubbles and baths. I remember while I was pregnant with you, I took lots of baths to ease my achiness. I used to tap on my stomach, while singing to you. One day you tapped back. It soon…