Dear Avie, This pillow must be made of steel. I’m trying to lay my head down, but it’s just too hard. All I want to do is sleep. I’m in this too deep. How long will I slide on this never ending ride? The ship is about to sail, taking me off to where you now prevail. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, I’m sitting here filling up my paper with you. My words are being taken from my mouth with this paper and pen. Begging to be written down. These words will never be dead. I’m being deprived of what I love the most. Please bring me closer to you. I’m still fighting to live even though I feel like dying. I can’t choose what stays and what will eventually fade away. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, I’m getting deeper and deeper. I can’t feel the bottom anymore. I’m in the middle of the ocean now. Floating in the water. I’m waiting for you. Will I continue to float? Or will I sink instead? I need you next to me. You’ll keep my head above the water. Won’t you please come rescue me? Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, Your name is running off the tip of my pen. The most beautiful name. Your name will forever be instilled in my mind. Your love allows me to walk through the water. The water that floods my life. Where would I be without you anchoring me? You’re anchoring my hope and my heart. In these waves of change I’m finding direction. Positivity can be contagious. Come a little closer. You just might begin…

Dear Avie, I knew from the beginning that I loved you. There’s something about the connection that we have. Something that only a mother could feel for her child. I could never be able to fully explain that feeling to another. Sometimes I wish that I could go back to being pregnant with you. If only I could go back to when everything seemed more simple and true. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, Should I let the sun’s flares devour me? Setting me free. Throwing the ashes to the breeze and into the sea. Please help carry me. Let the heat of the sun melt the winter away. Unthawing my heart. Getting rid of the gray. Bringing me back from death. Breathe life back into me. Xoxo- Mommy

  Dear Avie, You’re somewhere and I’m nowhere. I call out your name, but you’re not there. I should’ve never had to tell you goodbye. I just want to hold you one more time. The things that I had to leave behind. I don’t want to lose sight. Using all of this as a warning sign. I need to get my life back in line. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, You and I are meant to be. I know you can hear me. My future without you here will be empty. What’s a future if it’s not with you? It’s just me now. I have nothing left to lose. I used to be so full of you. The hunger strikes back. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, My life is incomplete. I’m deprived of you. The sweetness of life is beginning to fade away. My sugar high is coming down. The hunger is more profound. The venom of your love has poisoned me. The tears flowing down my face are filled with pain. Eternal shock is setting in. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, You flow through my veins. These words will never be weighed down. They will only be lifted up. No one can stop us now. You’re flying high. Will I ever find you again? Or is it too late? Pick me up and take me to where you now live. We’ll ride together off into the sunset. Xoxo- Mommy