Dear Avie, I need something to believe in. I’m stuck here playing pretend. Trying to find what’s in between life and death. Hoping to love again. I’m in need of something to numb the pain. I’m counting up all of my mistakes. I know you’ll keep my secrets safe. Promise me that I’ll be able to swim up to the sky. Give me wings to help me fly. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, I’m waiting and writing in reflection. In prison inside of my mind. Suddenly you seem so far. Things happen but I don’t know why. I’ll be waiting here for you my sweet. Hiding behind this empty smile of mine. Waiting for you to be back by my side. Can you hear me calling for you? Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, I will wait for you, or will I have to come to you? Will this pain ever end? My love is burning to find you. Crashing down into the ocean. Waiting for you while I ache and pray. Hoping to see your face again. The flames of love. The sparkling ambers floating above. Bring me up to you. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, I’m still searching this ocean for you. Wading through the water. I was once warm with you right by my side. The warmth has now turned to cold. Help me from completely going under. Save me from being taken away by the waves. I’m still hoping to find direction. Please come save me from this place. Xoxo- Mommy

 Dear Avie, Your voltage is running through my veins. It’s traveling through me on its course. Making my amplitude a form of communication to you. Hoping to find you. Like a radio that’s searching for its tune. Trying hard not to lose the signal. The signal that brings me back to you. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, I need something to put all of this weight on. It’s all beginning to pull me under. The weight needs to be lifted so that I can go on swimming again. I thought we would be together forever. We won’t ever be able to get back the time that was stolen from us. Time can never be replaced. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, I don’t know if I could ever love another more than I love you. You’re a girl of a different kind. You have the love that’s so soft and sweet. Your voltage is stunning. I’m grabbing at all of my prayers. Hoping that you’ll remember me. My temporary escape is shielding me from the absence of you. How can I go on living without you? Wishing for you to take me there. Xoxo-…

Dear Avie, It’s better to feel than to not have felt at all. I’m standing out on the porch screaming out. How can I fight when I feel like dying? I wish I could turn this all around. Can we get a rewrite? Raising my glass for the last time. Trying to keep this head up of mine. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, The days seem to be going passed me at a fast-forwarding speed. Time, just like the wind is hard to control once it begins. The absence of you is depriving my soul of what it wants. Deprived of what my soul needs. I want you by my side so that I’ll never be alone again. Part of me is fighting this, but the other part of me is already gone. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, Your kisses are so sweet. Your sugared lips give me a toothache. I remember when we’d brush our teeth together. Rinsing off the sweets. Flossing in-between. After we were done, I would help you to your feet. We’d walk down the hall slowly with time. Your little hand in mine. Your smile is so bright. Xoxo- Mommy