Dear Avie, With my tears I can wash away the smog. Crying helps clear my eyes. Nothing will ever feel as good as it used to when you were here. Many oceans separate us now. Why did everything have to be taken away? My life is in disarray. You’ve been saved my sweet. I want to be saved from all the unclean. I’m caught in between. Life and death overtakes me. I need to breathe…

Dear Avie, I wish I could kneel down in the sand with you. We would be holding hands as we sift through the sand. How can I exist without you? I will continue searching for you. Make me whole again. All I want to do is play in the sand with you. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, I was only given two and a half years with you. That’s only 906 days. Those days flew past me. Time with you got swept up by the wave. Stealing you away from me. I wish to be given that time back. What is this life now that I live without you? It’s almost impossible to keep on living when I’m being deprived of you. Your baby skin so soft and sweet. Those…

Dear Avie, The fog has settled, but things are still unclear. Sometimes I don’t recognize myself in the mirror. Does anything last forever? Even reflections can change. I may look put together from the outside, but how I feel on the inside I can’t explain. It’s hard to breathe without you here with me. Looking from the outside in. Searching the sea for you. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, I miss seeing your sweet face. I’ve been thinking about the feeling you gave me when I was in your presence. You made me feel amazing. You made me feel unstoppable. I’m empowered. I have so much to be grateful for. You have given me enough love to spread. The love I have to give back is infinite. Why couldn’t I have been taken away instead? I’m waiting to become whole again. Xoxo-…

Dear Avie, I know the summer eventually turns into winter. The snow will drift down onto the ground. Covering up the footsteps that were once there. The snow will continue to fill up in their space. My footsteps are disappearing without a trace. Snowflakes continue to fall from up above. Landing on my lips. The cold freezes my face. You are up there in the sky. Can we go back to once upon a time…

Dear Avie, Does anything last forever? Some people will say no. I’m stuck here sifting through the snow. I’ve been trying to rebuild my fire. You are the one who will take me higher. Bring me back from below. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, Agony is taking over me. My heart feels achy. Bring me back to the light. Is there a right way hunny? Am I doing alright? You were stolen from me. I was stolen from you. Can you come wake me from my slumber? Give me a chance to set my heart free. Is this reality? You will come back to me. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, My last breath of life exited my lungs. I no longer know how to breathe. I need to just breathe. All of my pain rushes back up again like a riptide. I hope I survive. I don’t want to be taken away by the dark side. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, I’m in need of a soul revival. I’ve been resting on my knees. Waiting to feel at ease. The hunger overtakes me. I am kneeling down begging and pleading for you to return to me. Come fill up my empty soul. Mend my broken heart. Bring me back to before my life fell apart. Help me rebuild what’s been broken. Resuscitate me. Bring me back to life. Xoxo- Mommy