Dear Avie, I lost you a year ago today. I remember sitting beside you in the hospital bed during the last few days of your precious life. I have never cried so much. I was drained of my own life that day. My soul shriveled up. I wish it was all a dream. I wish you were here with me. I am starting to run out of pictures of you. I have even lost you…

Dear Avie, My memories have already started to fade away. The distance between us is growing bigger and bigger. Your journal called out to me. It was calling my name. Time is slipping away. I would do anything to make you real again. My life will never be the same. It will never be as it once was. I don’t think I can take this pain forever. I hope the water will wash it all…

Dear Avie, I am losing focus. I have lost myself. I was going so strong. I can feel the weight upon my shoulders. More weight has been added to the top. Will you help me rise? I do not want to fall. I have fallen so many times. I am not sure if I will be able to get back up again. Please continue to answer me when I call. The deep sea will eventually…

Dear Avie, Please save me. Release me from death’s grip. Raise me up. Higher and higher. If I get through this, does that mean I can get through anything? I wish there was something more I could have done. I wish I could have saved you. You saved me. I am awake in bed. I know I should be sleeping. I can’t sleep. The darkness follows me in my dreams. Shattered dreams. I will stay…

Dear Avie, Death is like a breath of fire. It consumes you. From the outside in. The inside out. Will I be able to live with this everlasting flame? This fire. Draw me into your safe harbor. Take me away from the storm. The rain. Take me away from all of the pain. Swallowing me whole. Dragging me down into the depths of the sea. The raging waters are tumbling over me. I want to…

Dear Avie, I feel empty. I feel all alone. I long to hold you. Come back home. Brighten my days back up. When I held you, it made me happy. I write down all of the things that you have taught me. You have given me strength. You answer when I call. My pain will not dissolve unless you return to me. I must continue my pursuit to find you. Return to my arms. Overcoming…

Dear Avie, I sat and I prayed. I prayed hard and soulfully to you. To God. Praying fills up my empty hands. My half empty soul. It brings me closer to you. Soothes my soul. Ever since you left me. I have felt so alone. You are a piece of me that is missing. Gone forever. No real goodbye. All alone. Please help me conquer my misery. Help heal the pain. Bring me back. You…

Dear Avie, The sky is working with my hands. Heaven is touching my pen. I have endless paper tracks of you. My ears remain open. My eyes will see. My hands are forever working for you. Will you forever be with me? Come rescue me. Raise me up. Higher and higher. My heart will remain. I will not step down into my grave. My time will have to remain delayed. You are my salvation. You…

Dear Avie, I don’t think it is safe for me to be walking these streets alone. I need to know that you are by my side. I have so much faith in you. You provide me endless amounts of soul food. Filling my cup of life. I trust in you with my entire being. I know you will be true. You will help me conquer death. I believe in you. Xoxo- Mommy

Dear Avie, Yesterday I felt like fleeing. My anxiety took control over me. My tears left a flood behind me. Will my life get any better, or will it stay the same? I think about you every single day. I need to be rescued. I can’t waste any more time. I will hold onto you for the rest of my life. I will keep you in my heart forever. I don’t ever want to say…